I Will Now Jam A Pitchfork Through My Foot

I don't know what else to say anymore, except that it's an embarrassment of riches. Let me share a note with you that I received with this latest prize donation:

"I have passed by this item many a time, just waiting for an excuse to purchase one...

Needless to say, Mantastic 2006 has provided me with such an excuse.

I believe it is a perfect addition to your Schwag Bag.

Go ahead, give it a gentle squeeze...it's positively disgusting and charming all at once...a perfect combination.

PLEASE just don't tell me what it is used for by the winner..."

It was signed, simply, "X."

It's Kewpie Mayonnaise and you know you want it.

One last thing. I don't want a stampede to my desk of Philistines looking to get their hairy mitts on the mayo for a foul squeeze (And I will corroborate that notion: it's a pleasureably revolting sensation!). Squeezes are for closers!