Mantastic Op-Ed Piece

Tom Selleck Is Most Definitely Mantastic, by Chris Gollaher

I must tell you I'm shocked-- no, stunned-- to see on the admittedly-hilarious "Mantastic" site that there is even some question as to Mr. Selleck's suitability to be considered Mantastic? WHAT?!? Dude, this guy re-invented Mantastic cool in the 80's. He single-handedly brought the 'stache back into style, outlawed since the early seventies. And we're not talking some weak-ass porn 'stache here-- this was the real deal. He could hide a sandwich in there, man! Now, that alone is Mantastic, but pile onto that the hirsuteness of the man, who did not give in to any sissy-boy body-shaving "manscaping" nonsense, and you've got 80's Mantasticness defined. Sure, there may have been a fall from Mantastic grace with the bordering-on-chickflickish "Friends" appearance (sans 'stache, no less), but that must be considered in context with Magnum. Dude was named after a gun, man! Dude capped Ivan, who may or may not have seen the sunrise, in cold blood!! On top of that, he wore a Detroit Tigers hat. C'mon, man, you don't get more Mantastic that Detroit "Kick Your Ass And Take Your Lunch Money" Motor-effing-City, man. (OK, maybe Pittsburgh, but Bill Cowher's got Mantastic covered over there.)

Man. Next you'll be saying Sean Connery ain't Mantastic. You see that guy's 'stache in Zardoz? Forgetaboutit.