What Would Jesus Grow?

Let's not question whether Jesus was Mantastic or not. He clearly was. He had the facial coverage. He could pull off any style he wanted. The only issue would be whether he could do it in a month. Otherwise, he totally had the skills. He was great at a BBQ, what with the water-into-wine (he probably could have done beer if he wanted to) and pulling bread and fish out of who-knows-where after it seemed like they were all out. And let's not forget that he rose from the dead. That's the clincher.

But, still, I wonder. What would he have done at the Mantastic 2006 Opening Ceremonies? Does he take what he gets on the first pull, come what may? Does he bring some fives with him, just in case? Does he make an, "anything but The Neckbeard," declaration like we heard so many times? Does he just say, "Screw it. I've got enough people throwing rocks and stuff at me and calling me names. I don't need to encourage them further?" Does he seek out the toughest competition and get in with the Lemmys?

We may never know.