1/12/2006

Who knew...

...that the "M" in "MTV" stood for "Mantastic?"

Check out Clutch in their gripping music video for the song "Burning Beard."

*Warning* This is not a joke!

Not only does it have robots, religious possession, meteors, and levitation, but the lead singer's fully bitching beard spontaneously combusts! Jesus Crackers! Dig a hole and live underground for a year! Clutch's music is so heavy that it comes with a warning sticker that says, "Caution! Heavy."

I will now pour scalding hot chili down my pants.

The World Beard & Moustache Championships

Take a look at some people who think they know what they're doing.

Click here.

What's New Today?

Not much, but we'll soldier on regardless.

1. Chuck and his muttonchops have threatened Jess and his muttonchops to a "Man-Off" for departmental supremacy. This is a bit surprising. Not only have battle lines been drawn between man-styles ("Lemmys vs. Neanderthals!!"), but it's also occurring within the categories. Apparently any excuse to throw down or talk shit is a good one. Carry on, gents!

2. Michael Clemens (aka The Clemmy), after relating the news of his unfortunate future hair style to his wife, was banished to his home office to "think about what you've done, young man!" While in exile, he created his own weblog in protest of his grounding: Lemmy 2006. Be sure to check out the goings on by clicking the handy link in the column to the right. I hope he winds up in the doghouse often so we can get regular updates.

3. Some of our more anxious participants have already started sculpting their styles! Unfortunately, these participants are the ones who should ideally be waiting three weeks before carving instead of three days, as their stubble isn't visible from a distance farther than four feet in optimal lighting conditions. Oh, well. You've got to admire their enthusiasm.

4. The Committee is still tinkering with the voting process and is leaning towards a dog show type of format. One champ in each category with those winners going head to head for Best In Show. We'll keep you abreast of the two-fisted negotiations. Here's hoping that a resolution is found quickly, because the more hair The Committee grows, the more pseudo-manly they'll feel. Insufferability is the broken legs on which Successful Compromise cannot stand.

5. Lunch break was awesome!