Week #3 Check-In!

We're at an interesting point in the competition now. We're past the "ha-ha-ha, isn't this funny?" stage and sliding quickly into the "when the @#$ do I get to shave this @#$ off??" period. I've fielded many comments about how people want to tear their faces right off their faces. A multitude of people have confided in me that, yes, they nearly shaved the whole thing off yesterday. Complaints from the wife, the kids, the neighbors, the cops, local government officials. It's getting pretty torquey around here. Lots of stress and strain. One more week to go, people. We're really close. We've only had one drop-out so far and he had the weight of impending fatherhood bearing heavily down upon him. What's your excuse?

Who's going to crack?
Who's got what it takes?
Who has the right stuff?

Who will be Mantastic?

On to the photos!

The Muttonchops

Jess Vickery


Nate Reid


Robert Dorris


David Schnee


Chuck Duke

The Handlebars

James Brown


Mark Tamny


Jance Rubinchik


Tom Gilchrist


Chris Morley


Ken Voss


Dan Riha

The Neanderthals

Joel Friesch


Davy Wentworth


Jonathan Knight

The Neckbeards

Adam Gerardin


Daniel Bryant


Matt Tomlinson

The Sellecks

Brian Smith


Devin Breese


Garth Parr


Neal Hoover


Clear Menser

The Amish

Kane Brassington


Jonny Tal


Will Elder-Groebe


Kirk Larkins


Stacz Sadowski

The Amish Goatees

Blaise Panfalone


Don Howe


Lee Hahn


Matt Hoard

The Lemmys

Tony Lobay


David Link


Michael Clemens


David Gibson

Get To The Stores!

Why are you still reading?

Paper Goods

Which do you prefer? Which is more Mantastic?

You decide!

Revenge Of The Ex-Patron Saint

It seems as though George Clooney has been hand-picked for the role of Thomas Magnum in the upcoming feature-length motion picture adaptation of Magnum, P.I., which was originally played by Tom Selleck. Are you starting to get it? Do you see that we're hip deep in synergy and irony?? Is this some sort of ploy on The Clooney's part to get back in the good graces of Mantastic 2006? He hasn't committed to the role yet, but I'd imagine, with possible Patron Saint reinstatement hanging in the balance, he's giving it a lot of thought. Click here for more details.

My head is swimming. I will now jab cocktail umbrellas into my neck, Frankenstein-style.

New Prize!

Yes, I know. You're tired of hearing it, but we've got yet another fabulous prize donation.

Ladies and Germs, it's the Instant Hot Lather Machine, by Conair.

- Designed for easy one-handed use
- Heats up in approximately 1 minute
- Works with standard size or large size shaving cream cans
- Ready indicator light
- Hot lather softens beard so your whiskers can be shaved close with less irritation.
- Your face will feel smooth and comfortable.

To the winner goes the spoils. Boy howdy!

Mantastic Op-Ed Piece

Tom Selleck Is Most Definitely Mantastic, by Chris Gollaher

I must tell you I'm shocked-- no, stunned-- to see on the admittedly-hilarious "Mantastic" site that there is even some question as to Mr. Selleck's suitability to be considered Mantastic? WHAT?!? Dude, this guy re-invented Mantastic cool in the 80's. He single-handedly brought the 'stache back into style, outlawed since the early seventies. And we're not talking some weak-ass porn 'stache here-- this was the real deal. He could hide a sandwich in there, man! Now, that alone is Mantastic, but pile onto that the hirsuteness of the man, who did not give in to any sissy-boy body-shaving "manscaping" nonsense, and you've got 80's Mantasticness defined. Sure, there may have been a fall from Mantastic grace with the bordering-on-chickflickish "Friends" appearance (sans 'stache, no less), but that must be considered in context with Magnum. Dude was named after a gun, man! Dude capped Ivan, who may or may not have seen the sunrise, in cold blood!! On top of that, he wore a Detroit Tigers hat. C'mon, man, you don't get more Mantastic that Detroit "Kick Your Ass And Take Your Lunch Money" Motor-effing-City, man. (OK, maybe Pittsburgh, but Bill Cowher's got Mantastic covered over there.)

Man. Next you'll be saying Sean Connery ain't Mantastic. You see that guy's 'stache in Zardoz? Forgetaboutit.